Splintered

Just that log in the kindle cracker I feel like I am being split, splintered, that I am living a odd kind of double or even more life currently..  No do not worry I do not mean that I am having mental issues, well no more then anyone is during this time really.. I think we are all stressed and worried and our minds are chewing on things either in our hind minds or in the front actively.. 

No, what I mean is that one part of me is preparing for slow collapse, for local and global Climate change, for what I see is a real coming storm,  droughts, food issues, material issues, political issues and so on..  Its not going away and its not one thing, its hundreds or even thousands of little snow balls, all rolling down hill at different speeds and different point of gathering more snow as it goes..  or mud, or water, or lava or fire.. 

I am increasing storage, I am upgrading while I can, I am stocking up.. we are building in aging out into the farm in a big way, we are leaning down hard on some things, increasing other things that I believe will prove to be worthwise for us, for barter, for community locally. I am looking backwards in terms of proper root cellar and adding in hives, increasing security.. and so on.. and on.. an on…

BUT… 

I am also moving forward with day to day life.. Hubby is working away, we are looking and preparing retirement plans like we are going to get his pension (see above, will we?) I am working on my new little side gig (photography)

 

I have rented a space in a local store where I will be selling a assortment of things, yes I will be doing some ad’s for my photography but we got a lot of my Mother in laws leftover stock in regards to her rock/gem and fossil store and so I will be doing a bit of that, plus some natural products/teas and so on, with seasonal off the farm products popping up here and there as well. 

I am moving forward in regards to teaching homestead skills and food preservation, including canning, pressure canning, fermenting, drying, curing and more..  I am growing extra seed for a seed house for sale across canada, I am bringing in bulk plant orders to continue to work on building food sheds in the local community, I am updating my food handler programs, I am updating my first aid training, I am taking online courses in different subjects..  

All in all life is moving forward daily.. each day a bit more gets added, done, planned for, used.. old skills worked, new skills added, some that will only be useful in the now, others that would be O so useful in the possable future on both sides of that split.. 

Strangely with the bigger push down on Omicron, I am starting to understand why lipstick was such a big thing to my grandmothers.. why taking the time to curl their hair and have a sunday best or a company apron mattered..  I have had the urge to do my hair more, put on a bit of lipstick, put on one of my amber necklaces, but I have been wearing more moonstone as well.. use the good perfume.. I have even changed from the work cloths to a dress better for dinner..  and I have taken to making “sunday” meals..   

I think I get it now.. after being home both of us home for 22 months and counting, being on the farm and really not “going” back to normal for us.. I get why they needed to “break up” the time on the farm, the week, the season’s.. why gathering times were so special, why you dropped EVERYTHING to have tea when someone pulled in for visit and you pulled out the good dishes, boiled the water and just focused in on the moment..

I can remember my grandmother saying..  that can wait a hour, put the coffee pot on, bring out the fresh whatever if baking or saying, go pick fresh berries or go down to the cellar and bring up two jars of canned saskatoon fruit..  a few spoons of fruit with a drizzle of cream or not would be served.. 

I understand so much better now.. so whatever it is for you.. do it now..  use the good whatever, drink tea from the tea cup, put on the lipstick to feed the chickens, curl your hair just cuz.. 

How you doing on this.. you feeling that split?  Do you know what I mean by that? Seeing it in yourself, or your family or your work? 

 

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10 Responses to Splintered

  1. Ann says:

    Oh, my goodness! And I thought I was over reacting, being the only one to see, feel, see-through.. Thank you for posting this. You said all of this so well.

  2. valbjerke says:

    I feel like I’m scrambling. Lots of background worry that as prepared as I am for whatever happens, I’m not prepared enough. Anxiety over the extra workload coming up – two of hubbys adult children are intending to come live here in the spring…they feel they need ‘this’, not what they have now. I’ve always had an open door policy…but with the long term pressure hubby and I have been under, I have put my foot down on this. They are welcome to come – but they need to fend for themselves. Period. I will provide a place to stay, and that’s it. If they need heat, they best learn to operate a wood stove. No I will not have my washing machine worn out, they can go to the laundromat. If they expect to eat out of my pantry, they best be putting into my pantry. And so on. Not looking forward to this – his daughter can’t even open a thawed roast in meat paper without gagging, never mind touch it. I’m trying to focus on what to grow this year, what to put more of in jars, I’m eyeballing everything with a mind to be more efficient. Even more prepared. There are days tho – where going back to bed seems like a stellar idea.

    • O wow ValB, I can see the challenges you will be facing and they will indeed add to both the mental and physical stress for sure.. I expect that we are in many ways better prepared then most but having said that, the very work we do shows us how dependant we are on so many working systems..

  3. Silver says:

    Indeed, those little moments are so valuable now. And yes I have plates that are for nice dinners etc. but I must confess I have used them more, because it makes our dinners a little bit more special. Even just spending time talking or playing a game together, all those little moments cannot be replaced.

  4. Split in so many ways – yes, I am definitely feeling it.
    I too feel compelled to get dressed up. Even the flimsiest excuse will do.
    This crisis has taught me to live in the moment and to take the time to enjoy any ray of sunshine that finds its way to me, regardless of how brief if may be. You never know when the next one will come along or what sh*tstorm is waiting around the corner. “Smoke ’em while you got ’em,” use to be a saying when I was growing up and I’m starting to appreciate this more and more. This doesn’t mean I don’t take time to prepare but I am learning to put a hold on panicking and enjoy what is right there in front of me.
    Take care and keep up the good work.

  5. Widdershins says:

    Same here too … we’re prepping to move off the coast this year, come hell-or-high-water. (which is a bit like the second half of 2021 felt like with the heat dome, then the massive flooding) We take time to be in those ‘moments’ and put the ‘world’ aside for a while. … only way to stay sane, I reckon. 🙂

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