There are times in my day’s right now that I fell like that hummering bird.. flapping my little wings as fast as I can just to stay in place.
Racing from one thing to the next.. just as she is going flower to flower, I am going from item to item in the house, on the farm, off the farm, spending time creating, spending time learning, listening.. only to crash hard and get up and do it all over again.
There are times I feel as run down and ragged as this little gal! I am rough around the edges and life is grinding away hard to try and smooth me down just a bit more.. make me softer on the edges.. I am not sure its working.. I feel jagged and torn.. but it says it not done with me at all yet!
On the flip side, I am getting better at being still and just in hold mode.. we broke down and put out the money for a mobile air conditioner for the bedroom so that I can sleep better at night and have a place to go and cool down in the highest heat part of the day.
That has proven to a very good choice (I might not agree with that when the next power bill comes in!)
I got outstanding news this week at Physio, I am allowed to start doing forward movements.. this is a “o yes” thank you. If you think of a damaged slipped disk and your spine, its bulges and if you are straight and up and even lean back a little, you spine holds itself in a up and down.. this was the way it needed to heal.. but on the other hand, if you bend forward and put pressure outward or you bend forward and put pressure downward, it curves you spine and it put pressure to push the damages area and the bulges outward.. this is very bad for healing at the beginning..
It means that while I still can not do sideways turns, I can start working on gentle careful but still so useful forward motions again! It might be another month or even two before I get to the point of sideways turns and work.. so be it!
At least I feel like I can start to move forward instead of going round and round like the bee on the flower did..
Now I feel like I can start climbing up.. moving forward.. growing again in a different way then I have been! The beans on the inner row of the bean teepee are starting to climb as well. the middle row is broad beans and the outside ring is potato’s
I have been enjoying my rain garden here on the farm but I am happy to have been asked to help design a few more this summer and I have been asked by a 4H group in the city to come in and give a talk on them.
Speaking of growing.. just as these tomato’s have outgrown their cages and are now lined with stakes to keep them upright and moving along.. DH after 22 years in the same department is changing to a new one this month..
He is still working for the Federal Government but new building, new province, he is now in the Ontario side and all new folks.. steep learning curve ahead.. Wish him luck if you would be willing to do so!
Change.. everything must grow and everything must change at its own timing and pacing. Just as I need to harvest the row of heads and pull the plants, stripping down the leaves and drying them and grinding them into a super green for later use in winter and both fresh eating and putting away of broccoli making room for the cabbages to grow and fill in that spacing so they can reach their full size.. we must sometimes pull things up and give it a shake and use that space in our own lives.