Multi-Gen Household to be..

I tried to write about other subjects but just sat there with titles and the words would not flow, so clearly until I get this out.. I will not be writing the other things that I have already started..

So big things are heading to the farm.. part of me is very excited! part of me is steady as she goes and part of me is “whoa girl.. what are you thinking”

Our Family is growing!

Let me explain..  unless something changes (and life is full of change) my mom in approx late winter-early spring of 2017 will be moving to Ontario and to the farm..

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We will join a growing trend, we will become a multi gen household..  I did a little research and this is a hot growing trend, it makes sense in so many ways.

My Step-dad passed away coming on two years ago and while she has done well in her home, but for a number of reason’s that I am not going into here, but it can be summed up with.. Does not want to live alone..

I was excited at the idea that she would move to Ontario and my local area, I was surprised when she asked if we would be open to her moving to the farm, but after we talked it over, it made a lot more sense then us, trying to help her with a small house, yard, snow removal and so forth 20 to 30 min from the farm.

The house does have two extra bedrooms, one is used at the guest room and the other is normally a storage room..  we are planning on some Reno’s to create the most positive and creative use of space to give both of us their own area’s and at the same time share the main parts of the house. (more on that as it happens)

There will be challenges that for sure.. my mom keeps a very clean house, I do my best, my mom loves a traditional grass lawn with pretty flowers, I am very free-flow and much more permaculture leaned, mom loves looking good, curled hair, makeup on and she has outstanding taste in cloths.. me.. when I am home, I am in one of my o so comfy farm dresses..

But at our core, we still hold the love of the farm, garden and family, but the most important thing is that we can talk.. we are able to talk about it, we can listen and find a middle ground.

It will be challenging, and wonderful all in one!

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10 Responses to Multi-Gen Household to be..

  1. grammomsblog says:

    I think that is wonderful news! You said it best “we can listen” which is super important when getting used to living with someone like your Mom again.
    Our home is a multi-generational home too. My 25 yr. old daughter lives here with me. My husband died over 8 years ago and it would be painfully lonely without the company (although I keep mentioning to her that she can move on if she chooses – I’ll be okay).
    It make total sense to share a home with a cherished loved one – sharing the workload too, like cooking, canning, laundry, etc. – and the expenses of heating and maintenance (only one driveway to plow or lawn to cut).
    Hats off to you Farmgal! You’re trending!!

    • Thanks, I think it will be a good thing for everyone once we get a few things sorted out and figured.. Mom came for six weeks last year and it was great time, I missed her a lot when she went home, and we took what we figured out from that visit to improve and understand what we need to do for this.

  2. Lake Lili says:

    We have been a multi-gen household for years! My father (age 75), myself (at the shady end of my 40s) and my son (a tween) have lived together since before my son was born. The key is communication. We also decided early on that while it was my father’s house, I was my son’s parent and my father has never questioned my decisions in front of my son (he may question me later but never publicly and never in front of the kiddo). It is something you may want to talk about with your husband so that the husband/wife dynamic isn’t undermined by the mother/daughter dynamic. A toast and wishing you all well on the new adventure.

    • Hi Lake Lili I thought of you to tell the truth, and you are so bang on.. I caught that already, normally when mom and I figure things out for holidays or trips, we work it out between us and then share what the plan is, get feedback and decide yes or no on if it applies and then we do our thing, and we have done that for a number of years..

      So when we talked, I then talked to hubby and we all had a visit about the thing, and afterwards, mom said, we had it sorted, so why the extra talk and I went.. Ah, that’s something that needs to be worked on.. because yes, the husband-wife needs to be one thing, the mother-daughter another and then the “family” the blended mix.

      We are thinking of it as a new chapter, a new adventure, and I know that if we work at it and keep the lines open that it can be a very good thing for everyone!

  3. valbjerke says:

    My mother in law came to live with us a few years ago – she is now in a seniors residence as we were not able to provide enough care/supervision with both of us working. She was 95 at the time and very independent minded. Still is.
    We had a few issues – one, she is not ‘farm’ inclined, and understood little how the animals must be fed etc etc, and on my end….what little privacy I had (my husband and I both work at the same place as well as live here) was immediately gone. I found that part difficult.
    Sounds to me like your mom is into helping with the food preservation and meals and so on – that’s awesome. But make sure you don’t loose your ‘me time’ even if you have to schedule it 😊

    • Hi, thanks so much for your thoughts, I understand, I would have a hard time for sure if she did not understand or like the farm stuff, my mom is still pretty young, she will be turning 65 next year, so we are both hoping that she will have a good number of years of go in her but she also battles a cronic health condition that means she can have rest days and could use help

      While she will have the upstairs bedrooms, the plan is to build a big two room with half bath off the main floor so she does not need to do stairs for to long, our bedroom is downstairs on the other end of the house, so I am hoping that we have enough space and yes, I agree I will need me time but so will she..

      I will be sharing in general terms how it goes here, when the time comes the plan is a local retirement home but in truth I hope as young as she is that she meets a nice gent.

      • valbjerke says:

        We did something similar – we turned our ‘rough it’ two room guest cabin into a three room finished suite – she had her own bathroom and a basic kitchen where she could microwave or toaster oven things, a small fridge, coffee pot etc. this allowed her to ‘snack’ between meal with us (we only have a cookstove in our house). It gave her privacy as well, and the ‘living room’ area allowed her to bring many of her own things. The bed/bath are was big enough for her own bed, dresser etc. I even had satellite tv put in – she loves watching baseball – we seldom watch tv. So the little things – helped her be somewhat more comfortable.
        I think what you’re doing is awesome 😊

      • glad to hear feedback on the same type of idea and you made me smile, because we have not had TV since we moved to the farm, I do watch movies but no sat or cable, just the news on the radio and that was one of moms request, Satalite tv for her.. she likes to watch in the evening..

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