Question from a reader- homestead help

ok, I am feeling cheeky this morning, a certain fellow blogger has once again got tongues wagging, I try so hard to not reply, I will admit reading that blog is like watching a train wreck in very slow motion to me.. its been happening for years.

important: this is not talking about ANYONE who is on my regular reader or comment lists, to the best of my knowledge this blogger has never been to or read or commented on my blog

However  I did get asked a honest question privately by a new homesteader on what is the norm, and how did it work for me and mine.

First answer would be.. what is normal, just like with all things in life what is normal for one is not normal or another, living your life the way you want with certain rules if  you look after livestock and land is totally up to you..

And that is just the way it should be 🙂

However, in the much more detailed question of.. does it take a community to keep a homestead..

The answer in basic from to me is No

No in the sense its being asked about.. We had a big snow and storm, we have had weather related issues, we fixed them and that was that, we buy our hay and our feed locally, the hay is from down the road some by Farmer R and the grains and straw are from Farmer J, both are amazing gentleman, I pay them for their wears and I do it with a smile and true warmth in my heart.. I like and respect them, I want to see my money go to them.

I would say I have a friendship with them both, but its a farmer friendship, we visit as we have time for maybe 30 to 60 min once a month or so

I have known Farmer R for 11 years this spring, we have had a farm to farm friendship from the first spring I moved here, we have visited in driveways, him stopped in tractor, me stopped on horseback.. we have never had a single coffee or meal together.

twice in ten years I have called and asked for help in snow removal, once I hired him to come clean the barn and once to spread gravel, that’s it..

Miss T is one of my best friends and we have known each other for coming on 11 years, we do help each other a touch more on bigger projects, I think she has asked for our help four times and we have asked for hers twice, some time later this year she will help us put the new roof on my new part of the house. She has the skills and we will be working side by side, the grunts and learning as we go

As we are closer, we do share coffee and meals together.

Do I believe that if I placed a phone call that Farmer R, or J or Miss T would come help me, yes I do.. the odds of me placing that call.. almost nil!

As I write this its not because I do not like them, I do, I trust them, they are highly valued in my life but if I called out for help on things myself, hubby or hubby-myself combo can do, then I am not being true to myself

I am not allowing myself to be all I can be, I am not allowing myself to make the mistakes, learn the lessons, grow in knowledge.

The Ability to learn, grow, change, flex and challenge yourself, is what makes me feel alive, grateful, proud and humble all at the same time.

I am Always honored when someone offers help.. Thank you.. but I would not be me.. if I did not first give my all to make it happen first..

And as I am as stubborn as they come, I tend to find a way 🙂

I know when to ask for help and I will pay a fair wage or trade for that help, otherwise we will getter done. every single new day is its own journey, I am so blessed to be on mine!


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18 Responses to Question from a reader- homestead help

  1. I hope I’m never the train wreck. You’ll let me know if I am, I hope.

    What’s this about, needing a community to homestead? In what way? We’re sort of situated on in the middle of no where, with our nearest community 20 minutes away. However, with that said, I wouldn’t want to be like the Ingalls in Little House in the Prairie, where Independence was the nearest town 50 miles away. Even they, though, had Mr. Edwards and some other people around.

  2. Oh, boy. Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh boy ……

    And you want my thoughts on this, huh?

    Oh boy.

    • well, yes as a matter of a fact I thought it might be fun to read your post on it.. do you understand the slow motion train comment now

      • As you probably noticed, I wrote about the idea of homesteaders and needing a community to bail them out, not about any specific blogger. Well, I kept someone in mind when I was writing it … but he lives very near us! LOL

        And my husband is right now driving him down to the general store because he’s out of cigarettes, whiskey, water and gasoline. Sigh. My husband refused to drive him into town – the general store is as far as he’ll go.

  3. cecilia says:

    Oh no, now you have me terrified that i am in the train wreck! This is terrifying – I love having people to come out and help on the farm, I especially love kids coming out, though day to day I do it all by myself – not even a husband around most of the time, I do need to ask for help when i need a truck to pull something though.. it is hard work saving up for a truck that will run.. and I am a terrible builder, so i have to pay people to help with that and the fencing.. I do hope that does not make me a train wreck.. c

    • Miss c you are one of the hardest working farmer-homesteaders I know, I hold myself up to you dear! you rock, take a bow.. you fabulous women!

      no honestly, none of regular readers or commenters is who I was writing about!

    • ok ladies, I am going back to the post to officially add ps to it 🙂

    • Miss C asking for and paying a fair wage for help is a smart thing to do, I do it too, I also have farm helper 1, 2 and three all youth in my neck of the woods and consider them some of my favorite people.. hugs for me even making you doubt..

      • cecilia says:

        phew.. I was brought up catholic so I ALWAYS think I am the guilty party, If i was on the jury at a murder trial i would probably stand up and tell them i was terribly sorry but maybe it was ME who Done him in! Have an excellent day, very cold here this morning, i worked outside feeding, water etc until I went past the headache stage and actually started feeling nauseous..still cannot feel my feet, like walking on cotton wool.. anyway.. have a good one.. c

  4. erikamay85 says:

    So I just went through a months worth of blogs I read to make sure im not the guilty party because I’ve actually said that community is important or at least helpful….im not the guilty one, am i? did i cause a wreck and not know it?

    • Goodness no, I guess you did not see the add in after the orginal post went out, which says.. This is NOT one of my regular readers or commenters.. I promise it is not..

      • erikamay85 says:

        Oh, I saw that but like Cecila I have a guilt complex! (I also have a gilt complex which i need to go feed)

        I have said community is important because wether or not we interact we create a critical mass for services (large animal vets, extension service), products (hay, tractors, feed, ect) and legislation. Homesteading in and urban area would be impossible with all the yuppies and opinions on animal “care.” If animalls get out of fences urbanites think its the farmers fault and deserve a $500 fine…homesteaders might stop and put the animal back in and go on their merry way. I’ve seen it both ways. The country we are mostly like “I won’t talk if you don’t talk. do what you gotta…” To me that’s community.

        Oh it helps alot to have people near by you can call on for help. Its GREAT but one should not be dependant on that.

        That said: if there is a blog you recommend for rage reading i need some new entertainment…

      • sent you a private email 🙂

    • Ok and coming back, of course community is important, but so is the give and take.. Homesteaders have just as much right as anyone to call in the builder, the plumper, the guy down the road with the big whatever to fix something that we can not do on our own..

      The person I was talking about, was and has often, very often not had even the basics, I am talking heading into a storm with nothing prepared and then needing to call in help at the last second to pull it all together..

      Two very different things! One is normal and healthy, the other is at least to me not..

      I was writing Marie on facebook and I think I Nailed it.

      homesteader should once up and running be the type of person who does indeed, think for today, and plan for tomorrow, next month, next year, five years and ten down the road.. i think homesteaders if they are going to be successful are by their very nature, those that Must! live one foot in the now and one in the future of what can be

      Hope that helps

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