When I was a child, my momma used to call me her “fay” child, always one foot planted on the ground and one foot into that world that only I seemed able to see..
When I was a teenager, my momma used to call me a “Day Dreamer” with one foot in the here and now and one foot in the past or the future..
When I was in my 20’s my momma used to say that I was “finding my way” with one foot in the here and now and one foot flying as high as I could get it, always trying a new way, a new path and seeing how it fit me..
Now that I am coming in a close to my 30’s my momma “say’s I am walking the hard path”, that I have made a number of choices in my life that show that the “old ways” call me but that it means I have things harder them most modern folks choose to have, no cell phone, no dishwasher, no microwave, and the list goes on..
Well this past few weeks I have been feeling that same kind of many pulls but on a much smaller scale, one part of my mind is home on the farm with DH, trying to keep track of what has been planted, was the cow breed, how are the ducklings and the rabbits, how is the fruit crop, how is the rain, having a section of my mind at work on this each day is important, what those crops do will have a impact on how much time I need to put away different foods, what the on farm crops are producing effect how much wild forage I need to plan for to make up the difference..
One part is here with mom, playing nurse and keeping up on the housework, the laundry, the yard and her gardens, as well as being the mostly full time cook (but they do much more takeout then I am use to but while I am torn between take-out, the breaks from cooking is nice too) I have been blessed with family time, company time and been trying to find time to both spend with dad and also get time on the farm.
However there is a third thing that I find heavy in my thoughts and on my mind daily, and its the overview of the world itself, I am watching what is happening at the G20, what is happening in the Euro Crisis, I am watching what is happening weather wise right here in Canada, I am watching the reports on lost fruit crops, the reports of flooding river, of drought in other area’s, and I am having that info churn in my head.
I have to say that I can see such a differnce between sitting and listening to family, and friends talk about what is happening here in alberta in terms of work, home and growth, vs sitting and visiting with friends in ontario about work, home and growth, its like having one foot in ontario, and one foot in alberta.. while there is common ground, its not the same in the two province’s.. and Its stiking to me on this trip, I saw hints of it on the last two trips home but this one its night and day in a number of ways.
If there is one thing I have learned over the years, its that I don’t think I will ever be in just one place, or on just one path, I am always going to be a Neither here nor there.. but its ok, because I am always somewhere..
I hear you on the churning news floating through your head. The world seems in chaos. Some days I just need a ‘news fast’ And I don’t even have a TV, just a radio. Making choices about how to live simply in the mind boggling complexity of modern life, for me at least, is the anchor to peace that keeps me steady. It’s wonderful of you to be there for your mom, but getting back home and ‘grounded’ in your work there will probably put some of the stray ends to rights.
Hi Anna, I am really enjoying my time out here but yes, I will look forward to the settled feeling that will come with being home agian 🙂
It must be rough trying to maintain balance over such disparate, rocky trails; just remember that you can’t be all things to all people, but do be true to yourself… (And everything will still be here when you get back; )
Surprisingly, I find I am pretty good most times in finding my sea legs and keeping balance despite the waves 🙂
I credit alot of that to moving so many times with my family as a child, we rooted down where we settled but rarely stayed long, as we followed dad to where the work was, and it meant that I was raised with change being the norm..
think i am like you in many ways